The only potatoes capable of the “criss-cross” cut the fast-food chain is known for are those with XYY chromosomes, agricultural scientists say -- the same genetic factor (or “gay gene”) used to scientifically identify homosexual humans.
“Chick-fil-A calls them ‘waffle fries,’ but ‘criss-cross’ is the term used everywhere from science labs to farm fields to culinary schools,” notes Dr. Jules Child, chair of the Agricultural Sciences department at Clemson University.
Chick-fil-A’s potatoes are served in a soft chip style with a pattern of open sphincters.
“Only potatoes with the ‘criss-cross’ gene can tolerate the cutting method used to make that design for preparation,” Child says.
“If you try the criss-cross cutting method on ordinary potatoes, that thrusting penetration just makes them crumble,” according to Child.
The XXY potatoes are more inclined to accept that type of preparation, though, and even seem to prefer it to other methods.
“They don’t take to well to a common slicer,” says Child, “and just seem to roll away back to the bin when you try to cut them with a regular knife.”
A lubricant is still recommended to be applied upon the appendages used to create the ‘criss-cross’ pattern, Child notes.
“Aside from that, they’re just like all other potatoes. They produce just as well.”
Farmers of the XXY potatoes are somewhat concerned about the effect recent Chick-fil-A news will have on their sales, however.
Company president Dan Cathy recently made public statements against gay marriage, and it was revealed that Chick-fil-A donates as much as $5 million to anti-homosexual hate groups.
In following, consumer protests against the company have escalated, and its sales have plummeted.
Trying to overcome the significant loss in business, Chick-fil-A received support from many national figures associated with the Republican Party, who organized a “Homophobe Appreciation Day” for the fast-food chain.
Its success has been tepid at best, though, as some participants in the non-gay, non-happy, non-festive event weren’t what the organizers had hoped for (see photo below).